February to May 2023

1st February 2023. I’ve been off from the day job for a few days and I’ve been making what I hope are improvements to the site. What I really need to do is when I’ve got another few days spare, I’m going to have to finance a professional. WordPress offer a service as does the server, need to get things properly sorted. I’ve completed the links to post page for January, they’re all on site. I’ve did a post and I’ve got the stats sheets sorted for February. There is so many bits and bobs to do, I just don’t have the time to do what I really want to do and that is to research and give my comments. I also need say a solid week to categorize all the clips I’ve gained from the internet. This needs done, but when. Not to worry, I had better get on. 13th February. I’m using my phone to make this entry, I’m at work and just left a service user. There’s 20 February files I’ve gained from the Box, but I haven’t yet had the time to do an edit. There’s a lot of issues that need sorted. I’ll need to sort the finance and get the job done. 19th February. It’s scary how the time passes, I’ve been up to my eyes doing my day job, it should relax a bit pretty soon cause we’ve got new starts on board and they come across to me as carers and I think they’ll hang in there; that’ll give me some more time to work on my passion, this place. I always try and do a post at least once a day, I did a post on the 14th and that was the last of the January efforts. I did a personal post whilst at work and that was on the 16th, I had 20 files regards February but I didn’t have the time or to be honest the motivation to edit them! Today I edited five of them and I’ve posted the first one. It’s been an effort for two reasons, the first is my motivation, I want to gain the time to explore the web and give my opinions on what the hell is happening to our world just now, that means a lot of research, a lot of time, a lot of frustration and brain power to rationalise out what I meet. The second is my partner is at this time of writing at a staff meeting which will determine if she’s in a job or not! It’s not that she’s done anything wrong, she works in a pub and the hospitality trade in the UK is nosediving, will the pub survive or not? A lot will depend on this meeting that’s going on, such is life. I’m sitting here with a whisky, nothing new; I’ve been trying to stop smoking, I’m no spring chicken and I’m getting tired of the fool’s game, but I’ve been smoking since I was a kid, I’ve been drinking since I was a kid! It’s not easy. I’m using a vape and that’s helping. I look at my life and perhaps there’s three things I can share with myself (sorry, but I’ve no evidence anyone out there knows that I’m here!). The first is my son’s wife is expecting and she’s due next month and I’m looking forward to the occasion, male or female…who cares as long as healthy; it will be the making of my son who I am really proud of. He works from home (aye one of them) but he’s been doing that since before the Fear Game, and he’s by all accounts really good at it. He’s one of those that would sell sand to the Arabs. The second is my daughter who is presently moving house. She has more letters after her name than I can repeat, she’s hoping to do her PhD and she’s presently got a good and by all accounts, secure job, once again, really proud. There’s maybe a third but I think I’ll leave that for now and start thinking of doing some more edits of files because I don’t have a day off next week and they’re all ten hour shifts. 2nd March. I’m off from the day job today, the first in ages. I’ve just sorted the Link To Posts page for February 2023, I should’ve been doing it as the month progressed so it didn’t take too long, but no time. I’m going to have to check out the box and gain some footage, get all the February material out of the way. I’ve presently got 20 February files to post, I’ll hopefully post two or three today. I’m screaming out to get the time to research for material on the internet about fighting Globalism, and I need three or four days solid work in cataloging all the images and video clips I have, I have thousands to wade through. Oh well, not to worry. 4th March. I’ve got a day off today and I was trying to arrange a meet up with my sister, not seen her in ages, but it’s just a day off here and a day off there so it’s getting left till next month when I will have more time off due to new staff coming on to the rota. Same story with my daughter. Och not to worry. I’ve got 15 files to edit and that’s the last of the February files. I’ve still got 12 files sorted and ready to post, I’m not going to edit all 15, I’ll archive a few. I’m spending far too much time and energy on this when I should be trying to take it easy. Main reason is I simply feel I’m talking to myself! 17th March. I did a post earlier there, I hadn’t done one since the 10th, I just couldn’t bring myself to do the same old same old, I’ve still got 10 February files ready to post, and need to work on gaining March files, but I just can’t get into the frame of mind. It yes is partly this feeling of me simply talking to myself and not making any kind of change, but it’s also that it’s not the path I wish to be on. I want to research the internet, I want to get back to doing what I used to do and make comment on what I’m posting. I want to edit the thousands of video clips and images that I have, but there hasn’t been the time, or if there has been, there hasn’t been the focus. 19th March. I learned this morning that a service user I and the team supported had passed away during the night. He was elderly and was dying from his habit of smoking. Loved the guy to bits, don’t know why, but that is the truth. Okay why is that the truth. We got on, we were in the same wavelength, we had the same humour, we’d spend hours when on holiday just talking rubbish and laughing at it! When you get that connection between two human beings, it has to be cherished, and we did that without knowing it. I was ‘working’ with the man yesterday and last night. He was talking with a whisper and we fell out because he was lying in a hospital bed in his sitting room and wanted moved to his own bed. I knew, he was passing in the next few hours but I said no that cannot happen. I’d have broken bones moving that man from the sitting room to his bedroom. I need to correct myself, I didn’t know he was passing, I wouldn’t have left him if I knew, but my gut told me he was dying. I’m not feeling guilty on leaving him because I’m not God, I didn’t know. I feel guilty at arguing with him and denied him his dying wish which was to die in his own bed. Oh well, such is life. My son’s wife gave birth to a beautiful baby at the biginning of the week, a magical and tingling thing, and the end of the week…as above. Such is life! 14 April. I’ve really not been able to get motivated on the site, there are so many things needing fixed I feel I’m drowning in it and so I don’t even stick my toes in the water. There’s no longer a need for me to be doing the crazy overtime I’ve had to do on the day job now that we have two new members of staff, so I’ll have more time on my hands. I need to gather all the videos and images I’ve downloaded over I don’t know how long and get them categorized and make comment on them. A very time consuming task. And of course I’ll need to get this site working properly, I’m no whizz kid so I’ll need to spend the money on getting the job done. 23 April. A couple of days ago I decided to pull all my downloaded images into the one folder, similarly with the video clips. I’ve copied the video folder and I’m going to use that to create files on my stance against Globalism, I’m calling them My War on Globalism. I’ve did an edit of six so far, there’s material for hundreds! I’ll be wanting to make comment on the dangers of Globalism. The video clips are on Political Islam, Woke etc, but they are all generally about Globalism and the removal of individuality and let’s all do a Star Trek, we are all as one! Nice thoughts, but we ain’t, maybe in a couple of hundred years, but not now.